about after the wedding. You know ... those that we say to our friends, "remember that woman that wore white to the wedding?! What was she thinking?" or "Honey, should we or should we not ask her if her gift got lost in the mail or she just doesn't want to give us a gift?!".First and foremost, as a guest, you should never be late. Fashionably late in this situation makes you very un-fabulous. No such thing. For weddings, arrive 15 minutes earlier than the invite states. Note that what is written on the invite is the ceremony start time, meaning you should already been seated and settled. Then there is the topic of bringing guests which I am shocked to know how a lot of people do not know about this ... do not bring a guest to the wedding unless your invite states "& guest" or "Mr. & Mrs.". Don't take it personally if the couple doesn't invite your significant other or your friend ... weddings cost a lot and most of the time, couples are forced to cut down their guestlist.
Gift giving ... many people ask me about gift giving and from personal experience, I've had my share of stories.
- If you've attended the couple's engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party ... etc, you still have to give a gift. Just because you feel you've showered them with enough gifts doesn't mean it's grounds for you to skip or skim on the wedding gifts. These are all separate occasions and they all require separate gifts. If you can't afford so much spending, regrettfully decline an invite to the bridal showwer or the engagement party. Instead, send a well-wishing card.
- If you are part of the bridal party, know that you have your own financial obligations which includes your dress, throwing a bridal shower and a bachelorette party and other wedding related expenses. Similar to the above, you just can't use "I've spent enough money for this wedding" as an excuse to skip or skim on the gift. If you know that you cannot afford such role, speak with the couple ahead of time and find out your options. But do not ask the couple to pay for your things ... a wedding isn't cheap to begin with.
- If the newly weds have asked for donations to charities in lieu of gifts, do not skim on your donation. If you would have spent $200 on the wedding gift to begin with, donate $200.
- Sentiments don't play a role in cases of weddings. You don't have to spend your sleepless nights thinking of creative items to get for the couple. Most couples have registries - purchase something off the registries. You know those are things they want and need. When in doubt, give cash. Cash/check is always appreciated.
Now, before you come screaming what to wear ... weddings are actually pretty easy. One golden rule. DO NOT WEAR WHITE. As a matter of fact, to be safe - don't wear cream or ivory. Don't ask, don't think ... just don't do it. If your invite doesn't state attire, keep in mind that day time weddings and Sunday weddings call for something more casual (by no means you should wear jeans and tees). Jackets & tie and flowy dresses are great for casual weddings. Evening weddings will call for suits and a bit more fancier dresses, such as cocktail dresses. And here is a refresher course on attire etiquette:
Black Tie / Formal = tux for men and gowns for ladies
Black Tie Optional = tux or suits for men and ladies ... it's free for all ... go as formal as you like
or as casual as cocktail dresses
Semi-Formal / Cocktail = suits for men and cocktail or knee-length dresses for the ladies
Keep in mind, never upstage the couple with what you wear. It's their day, not yours.
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1 comment:
the bride and groom should be honored that i bothered to showed up, muchless actually opened their invitation. i am a very busy publicist. i should charge them for my time.
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